My recent article was actually meant for funeral services professionals but since it has important relevance for all of my readers, I decided that I would post it for the general readership. This is just an abstract of the whole article, which and be downloaded or read on line at What we do and how we do it makes the ultimate difference!
There is a disturbing trend in the funeral services industry that threatens to undermine the most sacred rites of passage and transition human beings ever experience, and its aftermath is likely to be worse than we ever could have imagined. This trend is incarnate in amateurs and dilettantes foisting their services as funeral and memorial celebrants on the unwary and vulnerable bereaved. In the past, the worst we had to deal with was indifferent boring clergy and finicky funeral directors offering cookie – cutter funeral and memorial services. There was a pitiful collusion between the funeral director and certain clergy, who held their congregations in a strangle hold of obligatory, staid, incomprehensible rituals. Another factor in this deplorable development is the fact that although we wallow in abundance we sleep in the lap of self–centeredness and abandon much of what might distinguish us as compassionate beings; we allow our customers to abandon all notion of proper care and dignity for our dead, opting for cut–rate funerals, abridged opportunities for closure, quick fix funeralization, the worst of which is direct burial and cremation. Today’s western culture seems to have enough money for flat – screen televisions, multiple cars in the driveway, every conceivable electronic toy but not enough money to give grandpa, mom or dad a decent, dignified, loving send – off. It’s really embarrassing how families today are so dysfunctional and how they have marginalized even their dead. And Yes! we funeralization professionals can all meet our obligations while serving our families and avoiding the impression of cookie – cutter services, and “one size fits all” routines, or the ever – present risk of making a judgment and then having to make an apology. So this paper is about boundaries and competency, about establishing relationships, about communications, about you and your appreciation of the boundaries between the mortuary services you provide and the spiritual care services the chaplain provides. Boundaries should not be viewed as obstacles but as safeguards and reminders of the essential humility of our professions. I do not believe that by meeting our obligations as death-care professionals we are violating any boundaries by gently but firmly educating the families and survivors we serve about their traditional family obligations even, especially in the difficult moments surrounding bereavement.
Please download or read this revealing and thought-provoking article by clicking this link: What we do and how we do it makes the ultimate difference!
Thank you all! Peace and blessings at this wonderful winter holiday season!
Rev. Ch. Harold